“Penelope! Penelope! Come down stairs! Come on! You have to
go to school! Come down Honey!” I heard my father yelling my name. Yes,
different story aint it? I don’t have my mum. It is pretty depressing. I didn’t
have anyone to share all my feelings, of course it is very different. I didn’t
have my mum to understand me, even though my father tried his best he couldn’t
just understand me the way my mum would. My father don’t know that I self harm.
Yes, I do it. I do it for the sweet relief. I do get it. I am bullied, I am
called bad names, I am called anti social, I am friendless and all this is
killing me inside. Cutting, helps me, it do does. I feel relaxed, calm, happy
and…. And free.
I dragged myself down the staircase because I hated school. My father don’t know about this because I just don’t have the courage to tell him. It takes real guts to let out all your feelings, depression and anxiety to the person whom you haven’t ever done it before. It’s just, very very hard. As usual, eating the pancakes made by my father I left for school. But today, I don’t want to. I want to finally release myself from all this pain. It is eating me. It is killing me every day and it hurts ten times more than choking in water will be. It will be more easy, to jump in the water and end my life rather than going to my washroom, open the water tap and cut myself fearing what will happen when somebody will start knocking on the door if they need me? It will be extremely easy, to let nature kill me rather than Ben, who beats me every in that spooky lane and I have to lie every Thursday to my family members that I and Lindsay got into a fight. It will all end. The fear, the pain, the problems, the depression, the guilt everything. It is final. Today, I m going to release myself and I set off from my home towards the waterfall which was not very far away from my home. It was my last time to feel the air. My last time to think about all my family members. My last time, to miss my mother and after that I’ll be with her, happy and free. I parked my cycle near the huge tree and started to walk closer the tree when I saw a boy with blue hair, sitting with his eyes closed and his back against the tree. I guess he didn’t hear the sound of my feet against the fallen leaves. I continued to walk to the same spot, where I used to cry to feel a bit light but it didn’t help me. I was standing at that spot ready to fall. I took one step close to the edge when I heard a cry.
“HEY! STOP!” I turned around to see that guy standing with a horrified look on his face. “What do you think are you doing? Are you crazy?” He said coming towards me. “Do you think how much this life is important to us? It won’t come again!” He said, with the same horrifying look on his face.
“This life is not important to me. This life gave me only pains and I don’t want this kind of life. If you would have been in my place, you would have understood it. But clearly, you are not.” I said, hardening my face as to not let the tears come out of my eyes.
He pulled me into an unexpected hug. I was never ever hugged by a guy and he was the first ever one. I wanted to pull away and stare at him in disgust and ask him for being so friendly with me but it felt nice, it felt good… it felt just like being free. It seemed as if he was pulling all the pain, depression and sadness from my heart and transferring to his. I finally broke into tears. I tightened my grip on his shoulders and started to cry very hard.
“It is fine. It is fine. No need to cry. I lost my best friend just like that. She was not able to bear all of this stuff too through which you are going. She died, just like that. But, I won’t let one more life just wash away like that. My hugs were always a pill for her, do they comfort you?”
He asked pulling away and staring into my blue eyes. He understood me. Finally, someone did understand me. He is a stranger to me but he understands me. I smiled and nodded.
“They are so nice. I feel…” I started to find the correct word but he completed my sentence.
“Free?”
I again nodded. He extended his hand towards me.
“Best friends?” He asked, hoping for a positive answer.
“A best friend who’ll never hurt me? Who’ll understand me? Who’ll know what I am going through without asking? Who’ll care for me? Who’ll not leave me in the mid of problems?” I asked.
“A best friend, who’ll stand by your side and will never leave you till we both die.” He simply gave that answer which held so much importance.
I shook hands with him and he looped his arm around my neck.
“So… do you like pizza? I absolutely love it! Let’s go and have some pizza, shall we?” He asked and I nodded.
“You’ll pay” I said shrugging and he chuckled. We both walked out of the place laughing and smiling.
How would I have known that the place I will come to die will be the place, I would actually find my reason to live this life…
I dragged myself down the staircase because I hated school. My father don’t know about this because I just don’t have the courage to tell him. It takes real guts to let out all your feelings, depression and anxiety to the person whom you haven’t ever done it before. It’s just, very very hard. As usual, eating the pancakes made by my father I left for school. But today, I don’t want to. I want to finally release myself from all this pain. It is eating me. It is killing me every day and it hurts ten times more than choking in water will be. It will be more easy, to jump in the water and end my life rather than going to my washroom, open the water tap and cut myself fearing what will happen when somebody will start knocking on the door if they need me? It will be extremely easy, to let nature kill me rather than Ben, who beats me every in that spooky lane and I have to lie every Thursday to my family members that I and Lindsay got into a fight. It will all end. The fear, the pain, the problems, the depression, the guilt everything. It is final. Today, I m going to release myself and I set off from my home towards the waterfall which was not very far away from my home. It was my last time to feel the air. My last time to think about all my family members. My last time, to miss my mother and after that I’ll be with her, happy and free. I parked my cycle near the huge tree and started to walk closer the tree when I saw a boy with blue hair, sitting with his eyes closed and his back against the tree. I guess he didn’t hear the sound of my feet against the fallen leaves. I continued to walk to the same spot, where I used to cry to feel a bit light but it didn’t help me. I was standing at that spot ready to fall. I took one step close to the edge when I heard a cry.
“HEY! STOP!” I turned around to see that guy standing with a horrified look on his face. “What do you think are you doing? Are you crazy?” He said coming towards me. “Do you think how much this life is important to us? It won’t come again!” He said, with the same horrifying look on his face.
“This life is not important to me. This life gave me only pains and I don’t want this kind of life. If you would have been in my place, you would have understood it. But clearly, you are not.” I said, hardening my face as to not let the tears come out of my eyes.
He pulled me into an unexpected hug. I was never ever hugged by a guy and he was the first ever one. I wanted to pull away and stare at him in disgust and ask him for being so friendly with me but it felt nice, it felt good… it felt just like being free. It seemed as if he was pulling all the pain, depression and sadness from my heart and transferring to his. I finally broke into tears. I tightened my grip on his shoulders and started to cry very hard.
“It is fine. It is fine. No need to cry. I lost my best friend just like that. She was not able to bear all of this stuff too through which you are going. She died, just like that. But, I won’t let one more life just wash away like that. My hugs were always a pill for her, do they comfort you?”
He asked pulling away and staring into my blue eyes. He understood me. Finally, someone did understand me. He is a stranger to me but he understands me. I smiled and nodded.
“They are so nice. I feel…” I started to find the correct word but he completed my sentence.
“Free?”
I again nodded. He extended his hand towards me.
“Best friends?” He asked, hoping for a positive answer.
“A best friend who’ll never hurt me? Who’ll understand me? Who’ll know what I am going through without asking? Who’ll care for me? Who’ll not leave me in the mid of problems?” I asked.
“A best friend, who’ll stand by your side and will never leave you till we both die.” He simply gave that answer which held so much importance.
I shook hands with him and he looped his arm around my neck.
“So… do you like pizza? I absolutely love it! Let’s go and have some pizza, shall we?” He asked and I nodded.
“You’ll pay” I said shrugging and he chuckled. We both walked out of the place laughing and smiling.
How would I have known that the place I will come to die will be the place, I would actually find my reason to live this life…
